I'm not eating lunch in the cafeteria again, Tony sighed. There was a mass exodus out the front doors as the seniors raced off campus for lunch. Tony was a lowly freshman and not allowed off campus.
Bet that never stopped Shane, she thought dryly. Well, I'm not Shane. Tony decided that an empty set of side stairs would be good enough.
She'd just taken out her sandwich and cookies when the short hairs on the back of her neck quivered.
"Hi," Shane sat casually beside Tony.
"Hey yourself," Tony replied softly, the tingling intensifying then dying suddenly as she looked over at Shane. "What the heck happened to your face?" Tony blinked, taking in the split lip and thin scratch across Shane's cheek.
"Nothing much," Shane lied, fingering her lip absently.
"Uh huh, and what does the other person look like?"
"Worse then me," Shane grinned, but it slowly faded as Tony frowned.
"You like hurting people?" Tony asked.
What the fuck does that matter to you? What if I told you I was defending you? What would you do then? "Yeah, I like hurting people. It's my specialty." Shane's lip curled in anger.
"Why?" Tony's voice was soft.
Afraid? You should be. "What does it matter to you?" Shane sneered, thinking she already knew the answer.
"It does matter," Tony shrugged, "I don't know why." I see something in you, Shane. "I just hope you know what you're fighting for."
Shane's eyes widened.
"What?" Tony asked skeptically. "Do you know what you were fighting for this time?"
"I- I... um..." Shane looked everywhere but at Tony. "Casey and I got in a fight... over you," she admitted slowly.
"Me?" Tony stared at Shane. "Why, Shane? Why?"
"Casey wanted to harass you," Shane tried to defend her actions, "so, I-"
"You what? You hit her?"
"Yes," Shane stood suddenly, "I was angry and I hit her."
Tony sighed and stood to face the angry girl. She reached out a hand to touch Shane's arm then withdrew it hastily as blue eyes pinned her down. "I'm not worth fighting for. There's always another way."
"What other fucking ways are there for a girl like me, Tony?" Shane spat out.
"Talking," Tony said softly.
"Yeah, well there are some things worth fighting for." Shane clomped down to the last step.
"Yes there are," Tony waited for Shane to stop and turn around, "but I'm not one of them."
Shane remained silent, impassive, her eyes a steel wall that couldn't be broken. How could she explain to Tony that Yes, she was worth fighting for?
"We could talk now," Tony offered.
Shane's shoulders straightened and tensed. "There's nothing to talk about."
"Are you going off campus for lunch?" Tony looked down from her top step vantage point, Shane seeming small and fragile.
"No," Shane glanced right and left, eyes narrowed, then went back up the stairs and sat on the step next to Tony's open lunch bag.
"I thought all the seniors would jump at the chance." Tony sat again and picked up her sandwich.
"I'm not all seniors," Shane said with a wry glance at Tony.
"That's true," Tony grinned, trying to diffuse some of the tension.
"Why don't you go off campus?" Shane studied Tony's profile and settled on the small bruise almost hidden by her shirt collar.
"I've already got lunch," Tony held up her bag of chocolate chip cookies.
"Obviously, but if you wanted to would you go off campus?" Shane asked.
"It's against the rules," Tony answered.
"Rules my ass. Do you think all of the people leaving now are seniors?" Shane waved her hand out to the parking lot that was slowly emptying as kids jumped in cars and took off.
"Well, of course not. But I would like to think there are some people who follow the rules in this stupid school," Tony snorted and bit into her pb and j sandwich.
"Are you calling my school stupid?" Shane challenged.
Tony stopped, mid bite, and looked curiously at Shane. "Your school?"
"My school," Shane confirmed proudly.
Tony took a minute to savor the peanut butter sticking to the roof of her mouth. Gram must have opened a fresh jar this morning. "Mmm," she mumbled, peanut butter refusing to let go, "I wouldn wan thith school, even if you paid me."
"What does that mean?" Shane asked dangerously.
Tony took a swallow of luke-warm soda. "The teachers don't teach, they can't teach without textbooks and lab supplies. You're two years behind everything I was learning before." Tony began to pick items off on her fingers. "The cafeteria serves stuff I wouldn't feed to my dog, if I had one. The nurse's office is vandalized. The bathrooms are filthy. The halls are covered with-"
"Dammit Tony, enough. I get your point," Shane grumbled, looking down at her biker boots, "but so what?"
"So what?" Tony asked incredulously.
"Yeah, so what? No one here will ever amount to anything anyway." And what would the little spitfire say to that one?
"Don't be stupid, Shane," Tony blurted, then paled as Shane's icy eyes narrowed on her. She rushed to continue. "They won't amount to anything with attitudes like that and an environment like this."
"We're in the fucking ghetto, Tony. Open your eyes." Shane stood and waved an angry hand out over the city surrounding them on every side.
"My eyes are open." Tony shook her head, gathered her lunch back into her bag and headed up the steps to the school. And I've seen too much already, she sighed.
Shane held her tongue, biting the inside of her lip. Stupid little girl, she fumed, but she found herself calling out to the departing brightness. "What am I suppose to do then?"
"It's your school, you figure it out." Tony called over her shoulder and disappeared into the school.
Damn right it's my school. But somehow she felt she'd missed something in the conversation and it pissed her off. She stormed out to the parking lot and revved the Harley to life, peeling out in a squeal of tires and burning rubber.
Why the hell does talking to Tony always make me feel like my heart is ripping out of my chest?
Tony was shaking as she walked into the school. The door clicked behind her and she couldn't help but feel as if she couldn't turn back from whatever course destiny had set her on.
And what if I don't want to? Tony flung her lunch into the nearest overflowing trash can. It bounced off the filled top and crashed to the floor. She took a few angry steps before she turned back and picked it up, stuffing it far down into the trashcan.
So, what do I do about it?
Shane was at a crossroads. She knew it, she just couldn't face it. Not now. Tony was wrong. Her school wasn't stupid. She ran the school. She WAS the school.
Yeah, so why wasn't it fun anymore?
The growl in Shane's throat matched the rev of the Harley. She sped up and twisted the bike expertly around the sharp corner, heading back towards the school. She parked the bike under the shade of a tree on the commons and waited on the stone steps as the students piled out of school and towards the buses waiting in the drive.
Shane watched each student with a detached eye, waiting for one in particular. There. Her shining red-gold hair stood out among the crowd.
Tony noticed Shane and smiled. "Hey," she cut across the swath of students and stood awkwardly in front of the dark teenager.
"Hey yourself." Shane shifted from foot to foot and looked out over the crowd. "Want a ride home?"
"Don't you um… have to terrorize someone this afternoon?"
Shane flashed a full teeth smile and chuckled. "No, I did that yesterday." She stepped over the short wall that separated the grass from the stairs, waiting for Tony to follow. She led the way to the Harley, parked over by the tree, and kicked the stand up, straddling the bike. She held out an arm for Tony.
Tony grabbed Shane's well-muscled forearm and pulled herself over. Should have been higher… more trees… "You remember where I live?" the young girl asked, shaking away the strange déjà vu.
"Yep. Hold on," Shane instructed and kick started the bike.
The back tire spun out on the soft grass. Tony gasped and grabbed Shane's waist.
Shane executed a perfect 180 pivot around her leg planted on the ground, then sat square on the seat, pushing the bike between two buses and out onto the road.
Tony just closed her eyes and hung on as they sped down the road, exceeding the limit by at least 20 mph. When they finally stopped in front of her apartment building she had to pry her fingers off Shane's leather vest.
"Um, thanks?"
Shane smiled. "See you tomorrow?"
"Sure," Tony paused for all of a heartbeat, "but um would you like to come inside. I know the other day you didn't want to and I know it's not the best apartments but you could meet my mom-"
"Sure."
"-and gram. She always makes cooki- Wait, what?"
"I said sure." Shane turned the key in the ignition and kicked the stand into place. What the hell, right? I'm always up for cookies.
"Cool," Tony said and smiled. She led the way up the stairs. "Um, it smells funky I know but if you go real quick…" she turned expectantly to Shane but didn't see the wrinkled nose and disgust she'd expected.
"Race ya?" Shane's eyes glittered in the dim overhead light.
"Ok."
"Ready?" Shane waited for Tony to nod. "1, 2… " Shane took off, calling out '3' over her shoulder.
"Hey, no fair!" Tony shouted and raced up behind Shane, all of five stairs after.
Shane paused at the second floor landing. "Up?"
"No," Tony called breathlessly, "this is it. 309." She had almost caught up.
Shane slowed and they reached the door at the same time.
Tony doubled over, hands on her knees. "Dang…" She pulled the key from around her neck and handed it up to Shane. "See if… Gram… is home… first," she was still out of breath and noticed Shane didn't seem to have even broken a sweat.
Tentatively Shane knocked on the door. Now that she was here she was nervous. Why? It's just Tony's mom and gram. Yeah, JUST Tony's mom. She was about to rap on the door again when it popped open a crack.
Faded green-gray eyes peeked out. "What do you want?" she asked harshly.
Tony's mom? "Um…" Shane started.
"It's me, mom. Open up," Tony called from behind Shane.
"Where are you at, girl?"
"Right here, mom," Tony peered under Shane's elbow. The door slammed shut, the chain rattled and the door opened wide a second later. Tony's mom stood behind the door as they entered and shut it quickly, re-locking the numerous locks.
"Who's this?" Alice waved a hand at Shane.
"This is my friend Shane," Tony smiled. "Shane, this is my mom."
The dark teenager just nodded.
Alice eyed the girl suspiciously, then turned her gaze back to her daughter. "Did you ride the bus today?" she asked harshly.
"Y-yes mom," the young girl stammered. I'm in sooo much trouble. She looked to Shane with pleading eyes.
"Oh yeah and boy was it crowded today. Tony's lucky her stop is one of the first-" Shane started helpfully.
"Tony?" Alice turned dark eyes on her daughter. "If it isn't one thing it's another with you, isn't it? Are you embarrassed by the name your father gave you?" her voice rose.
Shane's eyebrows rocketed up under her bangs and she took an unconscious step next to her young friend. The subtle movement went unnoticed by both Tony's mom and Tony, but faded blue eyes watched cautiously from the kitchen doorway before retreating.
"Mom… I- it's- not like that-"
"Did I hear my Antonia come home?" Gram called from the kitchen.
"Yes Gram!" Tony yelled, visibly relieved by the interruption. "Come on Shane, you can meet my Gram."
Tony nearly skipped into the kitchen but Shane followed at a more sedate pace, glancing warily at Tony's mother one last time.
Introductions were made and cookies and milk doled out to the girls. Gram was all smiles, gray hair and soft lines. The way a grandmother should be. Shane wondered what her own grandmother looked like. If she lived with us would I get milk and cookies? Would dad- she stuffed another cookie in her mouth, savoring the buttery flakes.
So, this is my Antonia's friend Shane. The dangerous one. She studied the blue eyes that softened when they looked at her granddaughter. Not all bad… "I'll leave you two to your snack, sweetheart." She kissed Antonia on the forehead.
"Thanks, Gram." Tony smiled around the cookie. "Gram's cool, isn't she?" Tony asked after Gram was out of earshot.
"Yeah," Shane replied absently.
"Sorry about the way my mom acted," Tony murmured. "Since dad died she's been kinda angry."
Shane nodded. "My dad's like that, sorta."
"Is your mom gone?" Ooops, the wall… "Nevermind. Hey, wanna see my room?" Tony licked the crumbs off her fingers and drained her glass of milk as she waited for Shane to answer.
"Sure."
Tony's mom was nowhere in sight. Gram was sitting at the black-n-white TV watching a snowy daytime soap.
"It's kinda small, but I didn't have that much to begin with so it all fits," Tony apologized. She'd been apologizing a lot recently. Who's more ashamed, she wondered. Me?
"It's nice." Shane stood at the window, looking through the shattered windows of the abandoned building next door. "Can I ask you something?"
"I'm all ears," Tony smiled.
"What did you mean earlier? When you said it was my school and I had to figure it out?"
The question was obviously important to Shane, to have remembered it so long. Tony tried to recall the conversation from earlier. "Well," she paced the small room, stopping next to Shane and looked up.
Shane's blue eyes met Tony's.
"I meant that this is where you live. You should respect it."
"You meant more then that," Shane looked back out the window, not really seeing anything.
"Maybe I did," Tony admitted slowly. "Your posse runs the school."
Shane nodded.
"So, why let it rot? Why scare away the teachers and harass the students? I haven't once seen the principal and there isn't even a nurse. What if someone gets hurt?"
"Anybody that gets hurt in the school doesn't usually need a nurse," Shane replied ominously.
Tony paled. Well, what did you expect? a little voice asked. "Do you like the graffiti? And the litter? And the smelly bathrooms and locker rooms?"
"No," the older teen answered honestly. "Are you saying I should clean up the school?" she turned to face Tony.
"You have the power to do it. If you wanted to."
"Maybe I don't want to," Shane mumbled as she turned and walked over to the small bed. She sat with a sigh and looked over at Tony as she sat down.
Tony remained silent. What do I say? Should I say anything at all? I'm getting out of here, I know it. Soon as mom saves enough we'll go back to Missouri and get a house…
Shane laid back on the sky blue comforter and put her hands behind her head. "Charley would want me to," she whispered and closed her eyes. Charley smiled back at her. Yeah, he would.
"Charley?"
"My brother."
"I haven't- um… where is your brother?" Tony studied Shane's face, wondering on some subconscious level if she had ever met this girl before.
"He's dead," Shane replied softly and glanced up into sad green eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I'm over it," Shane turned her head to stare at the ceiling, no longer able to meet Tony's eyes.
No you're not, Tony thought. It still haunts you. "What happened to him?"
"He was shot and killed in a robbery," Shane's words were monotone, as if reading from a newspaper article.
"I-"
"I don't want to talk about it," Shane sat abruptly. "Would your mom let you out of the house to go get ice cream?"
Tony stumbled over the quick change in topic and landed abruptly on ice cream. Mmmm, chocolate Marshmallow Ripple… "No, it'll be dark soon and I'm not allowed out after dark."
"There's a good two hours till sundown," Shane glanced at the red numbers on the alarm clock by the bed.
"Well… it can't hurt to ask, can it?" Tony smiled, already anticipating the creamy flavor as it melted her mouth.
Tony made sure to ask with Gram in attendance, who, she knew, would defend her right to go out and have fun with her friend.
And it had been fun. Like the two girls had known each other forever, grown up neighbors and played together every day after school. It ended much too soon.
Shane dropped her off outside the apartment's front door and waited till Tony was safely inside before revving the Harley and speeding down the street.
She didn't see Tony's mom watching out the front window. And she didn't see the anger that fairly emanated in lightning streaks from her eyes.
Tony let herself into the apartment. Wonder where Gram is? Oh yeah, bridge night with the old ladies upstairs.
"Antonia!"
Her mother's screeching voice halted Tony with her hand grasping the chain lock. "Yes mom?"
"Come here. Now!"
Tony shivered. "Where are you?"
"In your room."
"I'm coming…" she finished locking the door and went to find her mother.
Shane's room was far from quiet, bathed in the eerie Neon glow of street lights and beer signs. A baby was crying upstairs, someone was thumping something down the stairs and someone was yelling. Through the open window came the sound of barking dogs, cars, squealing tires and the occasional police siren.
Pale blue eyes regarded the peeling ceiling. She traced the lines of a water leak from one end of the room to the next.
A headache pounded across her temples. Shane never got headaches. She tossed and turned on the double bed, unable to sleep.
She rolled onto her stomach and buried her head under the pillow to drown out the lights and noises. It didn't help.
Get up and do something… dad sure as hell won't notice. Shane jumped up from the bed, tossing the pillow onto the floor as she went. Grabbing her jeans and boots she tossed them on and headed out of her room and out of the apartment.
As she walked down the dilapidated stairs and through the warped front door the thought came to her that she had no idea where she was going.
I could gather the posse, half of them are probably already out partying…. But she realized that she didn't want to see any of them right now. Undecided, she sat on the Harley, letting the city surround her.
Shane lit a cigarette and watched the hazy smoke drift up towards the streetlight as someone rushed past on a skateboard, jumping over the curb and two boys followed, laughing. Cars rushed past, even at this late hour.
Italian, Greek, Irish, BBQ… mingled through the neighborhoods, fast food and homecooked. A whiff of garbage and sewage came and left. Shane wrinkled her nose then straightened her leather jacket and revved the Harley to life.
She tossed the cigarette into the litter on the side of the street and took off, pushing the bike to thirty, then forty and fifty as she roared down the empty alleys and parking lots she'd known since childhood. She could travel these places blindfolded.
After speeding through the bank parking lot she shot down a main avenue, through two red lights and down another back alley to the 'Stop n Shop.'
Pent up energy and adrenaline coursing through her body Shane pushed open the door. The little bell jingled, singling her arrival. The Puerto Rican boy glanced up from behind the counter then went back to reading his Superman comic.
It hasn't changed much, Shane thought numbly as she took in the store. A new rotating metal shelf held postcards. A sign behind the register said; "No more then 50 dollars cash in the register. Safety Drop Box." A sign below it toted a new security system. The only other thing different was the boy behind the counter.
The night Charley died that stupid stubborn old man had been sitting in the boy's place.
"Put your hands where I can see them! Don't even make me think you want to touch that fucking alarm under the counter," Jynx hissed loudly and waved her pistol wildly at the old man's head.Shane stood off to Jynx's right side and a little behind her, bags for the money in her hands.
"Take the money out of the cash register," Jynx instructed the old man and Shane stepped forward to gather it up.
"No," the old man's hands dipped beneath the counter top. "Get the fuck out of my store, you punks!"
"Don't you dare!" Jynx screamed, firing a shot off behind the man's head and into the plaster wall.
He ducked beneath the counter and rose up with a sawed off shotgun in his hands. His finger shook on the trigger.
"Goddamn, put that thing down," Jynx waved the pistol in his face, "before I kill you."
"Jynx," Shane hissed, "let's just get the hell out of here." Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jynx's wild eyes and Cadence, Molly, Tish and Casey all stepping back, heading toward the exit.
"No, we came here for a reason. And I want the fucking money." She stared directly at Shane, her glance leaving the old man for just a split second.
It was all the time he needed.
Shane heard the click and reacted instinctively, tossing her hand up and knocking the sawed off barrel up into the ceiling. The recoil sent the old man staggering a step backward, but she didn't loose her grip.
Jynx was cursing. Molly was screaming to 'just get the hell out before the police came' and the old man was struggling to aim the gun at Shane.
The second shot buzzed past her ear. Shane gave a sharp cry and ripped the gun from the old man's hands. "Case," she ordered as she trained the shotgun between the old man's eyes, "get the money. Cadence, stop the camera and get the surveillance tape." For a second no one moved or breathed. "Now!"
Casey hurried behind the counter and stuffed the bills into the brown paper bag while Cadence threw open the door to the little upstairs security room and ripped the tape out of the recorder.
"Don't move," Shane jabbed the shotgun against the man's forehead. "Hurry up, Case, we haven't got all week."
"Got it!" Cadence cried as she raced back down the stairs and waved the tape in the air. Casey finished with the register and came back around the corner.
"All right, let's go," Jynx finally tried to re-establish command of her posse.
Shane nodded silently and took a step back.
"Stupid punks!" The old man grabbed the barrel of the shotgun.
Shane's finger was stiff around the trigger and the sudden, jerking movement jammed the trigger back. The shotgun went off and Shane staggered backward under the force of the impact. The old man's blood splattered her face and the front of her T-shirt. Shards of bone and gray matter dripped down her jaw.
In a horrified haze Shane turned to the rest of the posse, meeting their shocked gaze. Oh God, oh God, oh God… raced through her mind. The cops… A noise startled her and she turned, swiveling the shotgun around automatically.
Through a bloody veil of shock she pulled the trigger, again.
C-charley?
The scene played itself out like a mini movie, right there beside the counter of the 'Stop N Shop.' And like a commercial the boy interrupted.
"Hey, lady, you all right?"
Shane turned blindly, silent tears coursing down her suddenly pale cheeks. All right? Sure, I'm all right. I killed my brother… I'm just fine. A sob stuck painfully in her throat. "I killed him," she whispered hoarsely.
"What?"
Pain so intense that it robbed Shane of breath she turned quickly and raced out of the store as if the hounds of hell were chasing her, trying to claim her darkened soul.
In the parking lot Shane jumped on the motorcycle and took off. As she roared down the streets, tears ripping from her eyes she struggled to see, to understand.
Why? Why? Why?
No answers came as she led the bike up onto the freeway. Crisp, spring air, turned into tornado force by the speed of the bike, whipped her dark hair around her face in a torrent of darkness that matched her thoughts. What would happen if I just kept riding? If I laid the bike down on the asphalt? If I took it to the bridge…
Tony's innocent face flashed before her eyes, causing the bike to swerve dangerously. For some reason those green eyes begged her to slow down and make it back in one piece.
Shane let up on the gas and took the next exit off the freeway and back into the city of perpetual night.
Shane rapped on Tony's window, peering inside. Tony's blond head poked up through a bundle of blankets and she blinked sleepy, startled eyes around the room.
Shane tapped on the window again.
Tony jumped and turned with wide eyes. "S-shane? What are you doing here?" Self-consciously she wrapped one of the blankets around her shoulders as she stood.
"Let me in," the dark teenager called.
Tony stared for a moment at the face highlighted by the moon. She cleared her throat. "There's bars on the window," she pointed out.
"Let me in the front then."
Tony shivered. More trouble. She shook her head silently.
"Please," Shane whispered hoarsely.
Has she been crying? "I'll meet you at the door." Tony threw down the blanket after Shane had dropped from sight. Then, with a silent prayer, she tiptoed through the apartment and began to unlock the door. Five locks and a metal rod later she ushered Shane inside and motioned with a crooked finger to be silent.
They tiptoed back to Tony's room, shut and locked the door.
Tony re-wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and sat on the bed while Shane paced, taking some comfort in the young girl's sleepy presence.
Back and forth and back and forth Shane paced.
"Stop that," Tony hissed. "Come sit down," she patted the bed.
"I'd rather stand." Shane ran her fingers through wind tangled hair.
Fine ok…. What are you doing here? Why were you crying? Why bother to ask at all when you probably won't answer my questions? Tony glanced at the bedside clock. "I take it all is not well if you're sneaking into my room at four o'clock in the morning?"
Shane blew a sharp burst of air between her teeth. "I can leave if I'm bothering you."
"No, no you aren't bothering me. Please, Shane, sit down?"
She turned dark eyes on Tony. With the moonlight streaming into the room she could see the young girl better. "What happened to your face?" she sat on the bed beside Tony.
Tony stifled a gasp and the automatic urge to touch the bruise on her chin. "Nothing," she lied.
"Does it hurt?" Shane asked softly.
"No," she lied again.
"And," Shane reached her hand up to the collar of Tony's nightshirt, "this one didn't hurt either, I suppose?"
"I don't even remember doing it," Tony pulled away from Shane, her eyes wide with fear and face turning red with shame.
"Uh huh," Shane curled her hand into a fist and dropped it into her lap. "And I suppose you fell into a doorknob or some other sick cliché?"
Tony remained silent.
"Who did this to you?" Shane asked, finding that her chaotic thoughts could focus, when it was on someone else's pain.
"I-" Tony shook her head fearfully, "it wasn't her fault. I shouldn't have gone out. I worried her. I always worry her. And she's been so upset since daddy died and she gets so angry. It's not her fault…" she trailed off, on the verge of hysterical tears.
"Her who?" Shane gritted her teeth and willed her hands to stay steady.
Tony suddenly realized her mistake. "N-no one," she stammered.
"Your Gram?" Shane was angry now. So angry that someone would ever want to hurt this innocent girl.
"No!" Tony gasped and quickly covered her mouth.
"If it wasn't your Gram then it was your mom." The dark teenager stood so suddenly that Tony sat looking dumbfounded at the space where she had been.
Tony's silence was all the answer Shane needed. She hurried to the door. "That bitch-" she unlocked the door.
"No, Shane!" As Tony leapt from the bed and crossed the small room she broke the cardinal rule and reached out to grab Shane's elbow.
"What?" Shane turned angrily in her grasp. "I should beat the shit out of your mom for hurting you," she hissed through gritted teeth.
"No, it's not her fault. She's lost without daddy." Tony tugged on Shane's elbow, willing her to back down. "Please, don't hurt her?"
"But she hurt you."
Tears fell from Tony's pale green eyes. "Please don't…" she whispered. She needed so desperately for someone to hold her and just reassure her that everything would be all right.
Shane sighed, not bothering to shake off the desperate hand clinging to her arm. She looked down into Tony's face, at the trembling lips and falling tears. "Come on, don't cry."
"S-sorry," Tony stammered, choking on her tears. Of course. Of course, Shane would never cry. Buck up you little baby, she chided herself, but the tears wouldn't stop. She wandered back to her bed and fell onto it and into a torrent of sobs.
Shane hesitated a moment then crossed the small room and sat on the bed beside Tony's curled up body. She reached out a hand and stroked Tony's back. "Shhh…"
Tony's sobs hitched in her throat. Shane's hand was warm and strong and Tony turned on her side, glancing up. "W-why did you come here tonight?"
Some of the pain surfaced again and Shane's hand stilled. "I couldn't sleep."
Tony sniveled and absently swiped her hand under her runny nose. "I couldn't sleep either," she whispered.
"Looked like you were sleeping when I got here," Shane smiled slightly.
"Mmm, I was just falling asleep actually."
"I- I'm sorry I woke you up then," Shane shifted uncomfortably on the bed and placed her hands in her lap. "I should go." But she made no move to get up.
"Or, or you could stay here?" Tony sat up slowly, placing her hand on Shane's knee. "Just for a little bit?"
Shane looked at the hand on her leg and back up to Tony's face.
Tony wrenched her hand away and turned, embarrassed, to stare at the bedside clock. No more then ten minutes had passed. The red numbers blurred as more tears threatened.
Oh God, she's going to cry again, isn't she? What do I do? An image of her mother came to Shane's mind. She'd just gotten the training wheels off her bike and was learning to ride it down the sidewalk when she'd panicked and run into the fire hydrant because her father had let her go.
Shane's mom had scooped her up, cradled her in her arms and gently bandaged her bleeding knee. She'd been all of eight years old.
Tony was fifteen. But ya never got too old for hugs, right?
Right. Shane wrapped her arm loosely around Tony's shoulder and tugged gently. After a moment's hesitation Tony leaned against Shane's chest and buried her head in Shane's leather jacket.
Shane smelled like cigarettes and the wind, salty tears, Suave shampoo and soap. Tony wrapped her arms around the dark teen's waist and held tight. She let her tears flow freely now as Shane rubbed her back.
After a moment Shane rested her chin on top of Tony's golden head. I'll only stay for a little while, she promised, even as she scooted back against the wall and settled Tony against her side.
Bright rays of the morning sun woke Shane momentarily and she blinked blurry eyes around the unfamiliar room. Something warm and heavy rested against her side.
Oh yeah, Tony. Tony's room. Her eyes slid shut once again, then snapped open. Tony's room!
"Tony, Tony, wake up," Shane whispered urgently. "It's morning." If your mom finds us here we're both in big trouble. Shane grimaced. Tony would be in a lot more trouble then Shane cared to visualize.
Tony's warm breath raked across Shane's neck. She shivered and gently slid out from under the young girl. "Guess I'm going to have to sneak out of here, somehow."
"Tony!" Alice shouted, knocking on the bedroom door. "Wake up or you'll be late for school." The knob turned slowly.
Shane's heart skipped a beat and froze in her chest.
Alice turned the knob and stepped into the room. "Get up, girl. I'm off to work and you're going to be late." She waited a moment till one sleepy green eye peeked open.
Tony sat bolt upright, seeing her mother in the doorway. Frantically she looked around the room. Shane? "W-what time is it?" she stammered.
"Time to get up," Alice slammed the door shut as she left to grab a last cup of coffee before work.
"Shane?" Tony whispered. "Shane?"
The door to the adjoining bathroom was open a notch. Tony jumped out of bed and ran to the door, flinging it open. "Shane?" Her eyes landed on the small window above the toilet. Tony climbed up and peered out the opening. Shane was nowhere in sight.
Damn, that was close, Shane cursed as she pulled herself all the way up the fire escape. She crossed the black-tarred roof and went down the ladder on the opposite side, into the alley where she'd discreetly parked her bike.
Silently she led the bike out of the alley and down half a block before she popped the key in the ignition and went home to change.
Alice had left for work already and Tony was sitting at the kitchen table gulping down her orange juice, toast and eggs. If she didn't hurry she'd miss the bus and Gram would have to walk her to school.
She dashed out of the apartment with a quick kiss on Gram's cheek and made it to the bus stop a split second before the driver shut the doors behind her. She shuffled down the middle aisle looking for a seat.
There were none. Half a dozen kids were already standing or leaning on the ugly puke-green sides of the seats. She stifled a tired yawn and leaned against one herself. The bus bumped down the pothole filled road to the school and the students exited in a mass of yelling and mock fighting.
One of the faux fights turned to an all out scuffle and Tony just barely made it out the door of the bus before she was shoved down the bus steps by an angry elbow jabbing into her back.
She turned with an angry scowl on her face that quickly vanished when she saw one of the boys sporting a box cutter. Tony gulped and backpedaled quickly to the stairs and up through the school's front doors.
Even though she left the fight far behind she could still hear the shouting and taunts of the other kids and she hurried down the halls and up the stairs to the second floor and her first period class.
I hope Shane's all right, she pulled out her textbook after she had taken a seat in the back of the classroom. What if she hurt herself climbing out the window? Don't be stupid, Tony, she chided herself, Shane can certainly take care of herself.
Tony tried to focus on the teacher's lesson plan, but thoughts of Shane wouldn't go away.
She was ready to fight for you, an awed little voice remembered.
Fighting's not right, Tony countered.
So, the little voice said, no one else would do that for you.
Still it's not ri-
"Tony?" The teacher had been going up and down the rows, checking homework.
She was one of the few teachers in the school that actually seemed to care about her students and had a good turn out in her classes. Some of the students even tried to pass.
Tony looked up with slightly glazed eyes. "Hmmm?"
"Your homework?"
"My homework?" Tony repeated, trying to focus on the present and the teacher standing at her elbow.
"Yes, do you have it?" Anna Stewart regarded one of her most promising students from behind slightly narrowed brown-gold eyes, noticing the violent, purpling bruise on Tony's chin.
"Oh, oh yeah…" Tony rummaged through her textbook and backpack. "Somewhere," she mumbled. Geez, I'm usually so much more organized. Triumphantly she held up the crumpled piece of paper she'd found at the bottom of her bag. "I got it."
Anna took the paper from Tony's hand and looked it over. She glanced back down at Tony's slumped head and restless tapping of her pencil against the desk. She knelt down at the side of the desk and clamped her hand over Tony's, stilling the incessant tapping. "Not up to your usual quality," she said gently, returning the paper to Tony's desk.
Tony uncomfortably shrugged her hand out from under the teacher's and looked away. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"May I speak with you after class, Tony?"
The young girl looked up startled. "Am I in trouble?" she asked wearily.
"No," Anna stood. "I'd just like to talk to you for a minute."
"Ok," Tony shrugged and her long pale hair cascaded around her shoulders and veiled the side of her face. She hid behind the curtain of hair as Anna smiled sadly and turned her attention to the rest of the class, half her thoughts still on Tony and half on the lesson plan.
The bell rang and Tony bolted from her seat. It appeared she'd forgotten all about her teacher's request to talk to her as she saw a dark head waiting by the doorway. She was halfway to the door when the teacher called out her name.
"Tony? Can I talk to you?"
Tony sighed, catching Shane's raised eyebrow look before turning back to the teacher and walking over toward her desk. "Sorry," she mumbled again, "I forgot."
"Have a seat." Anna pulled one of the student's graffitied chairs up next to her cluttered desk.
Tony hesitated and glanced at the door. Her tired eyes sought out Shane's and for a timeless second the two shared an understanding smile. Then Shane leaned against the doorjamb to wait and Tony turned slowly around and sat in the offered chair.
Anna Stewart didn't miss the dark haired girl by the door. No one ever could. She was a beautiful young woman. A dangerous young woman. Her concern for Tony grew by leaps and bounds. She cleared her throat and spoke softly, "How are you liking the school so far?"
"I'm not," Tony shrugged. What would it matter if the teacher knew the truth or not? There was nothing she could do about it.
"I saw your records from Missouri, Tony. They're excellent."
Tony looked at the teacher now, her interest piqued as to why she would bother. "Top in my classes," her smile was a bitter one.
"I'd like to speak to the principal on your behalf," Anna paused to let that first bit sink in, "and see if we can move you to classes that will better suit you." She waited and watched as Tony silently regarded her. It was hard not to just stare at that bruise or to come right out and ask what the hell was going on.
She wants to speak to the principal? Really? "Ok," she shrugged, as if it wasn't all that important.
But Anna didn't miss the small sparkle in the girl's eyes. "You'll probably be placed with most of the seniors. Is that a problem?"
A problem? No way… The inane thought that she might even be in one of Shane's classes made her smile. "No, not a problem at all."
"Good," Anna smiled back. "I'll talk to Mr. Walthers on my lunch break."
So that's his name. Another thought occurred to her. "Will I still have you as a teacher?"
"You betcha. I teach all the senior English classes, as well as the freshmen's."
"Cool," Tony glanced to the door to see if Shane was still there. She was, albeit stamping her foot on the floor impatiently. "Can I go now?" she turned back to Ms. Stewart.
About that bruise… "All right, see you tomorrow."
"Thanks Ms. Stewart." Tony fairly leapt out of her chair and raced to the doorway. She paused and glanced up shyly at Shane.
"So, you in trouble? Need me to bust some heads?" Shane asked.
Tony blinked, realizing even in the joking way the words were said that Shane would knock heads together for her, if Tony was so inclined to ask. "No trouble. I'm going to be taking some classes with the seniors."
"No kidding," Shane sounded impressed.
"Yup."
They began to walk down the hall, jostled from one side of it to the next as they made their way around groups of stand-still students.
"Where's your next class?" Shane asked, putting her hand on the small of Tony's back, guiding her around the students protectively.
"Math, room 407."
And so the day continued, with Shane popping up now and then after a few of Tony's classes and walking her to the door of the next. They received more then one set of curious looks and Shane shot them down with a curled lip and menacing eyes. Tony barely noticed, simply basked in the unexpected attention, wondering how long it would take for Shane's defensive wall to go back up and she'd be left alone again. Out in the cold.
As the day ended and Tony prepared to get on the bus to go home Anna Stewart waved in her direction and beckoned her off to the side.
"I talked to Mr. Walthers. He's willing to test you out in a few of the senior classes and when you're ready move you to the rest. How does that sound?"
Tony shielded her eyes against the sun and smiled up at the teacher. "That'd be fine. When?"
"Tomorrow." Anna impatiently brushed long, straight brown hair behind her ears. "I was thinking-"
"Tony!" Another voice called out and Tony turned to the source. "I've gotta go, Ms. Stewart." She turned back for a second, before she raced off. "Thanks."
Anna sighed as she watched the bright eyed girl walk over to meet the leader of 'The Panthers.' Trouble… her tired body cried. Why am I wasting my efforts on Tony if she's going to end up in a gang and maybe end up dead somewhere? Her mind balked at the idea. She's a good kid. I'll be damned if I'm going to let Shane Delante scare me away from this one too. Her mind made up, Anna Stewart, decided that Tony wasn't going to end up in the gutter, not if she could help it.